Minggu, 21 November 2010

Even If It Is Intermission




"...like that guy from the porn movies..."


I can’t blog like I used to. I can’t drink or fuck like I used to either, but at 44 years old that’s probably no surprise to you or me.

But a man should be able to write late into his years and with today’s technology I should always have a blog. I’ve certainly grown attached to the one’s I’ve published.

When I quit my job back in July I assumed I’d blog more than ever. Take a long intermission from work and bosses and perhaps even NYC as I reinvented Lodo Grdzak one more time.

But no sooner had I packed my bags to get out of Dodge than my phone rang. I glanced at the phone’s display window.

WITHHELD.

Normally I won’t answer a blocked number, but by this time I’d already begun my intermission from routine and the cyclical patterns ingrained by my former profession.

“Hello.” I answered.

“Yeah, is this Lodo Grdzak?”

The voice sounded distantly familiar.

“..Yeah, this is Lodo. Who’s this?”

“Lodo, its Barry S______, remember me? You handled a few cases for me 3 or 4 years back. The little girl with the burn up in Connecticut?”

“Barry! Of course I remember you. What’s up?”

“Well Lodo I heard a rumor. I don’t know if its true or not so I figured, why not call the guy and ask him.”

“Okay.”

“So yeah,..listen, are you on the market right now?”

“What?--you mean for work?”

“Of course for work, what am I here? For work.
For work!”

“Yeah, okay.
For work, I get you. Uh,...sure. I guess there’s no harm in talking anyway. And it’d be fun to get together.”

So the guy took me out to dinner. A fancy dinner out in Queens. As I mentioned, he already knew me since I’d worked some cases for him years ago; and we’d had fun with a pair of gals one night in the city. So its not like I wowed him so much at this dinner. He was already familiar with my work product and my capabilities as an investigator. Still, I was on my game, and the guy made me a job offer that night. I didn’t even have to give him a resume.

Ah--
sweet vindication! Here I’d impetuously quit my job in the midst of the worst economy in modern history and--BAM!, two weeks later I was hired. With an easier boss. And more independence. And the chance to make a lot more money. You like to think after 15 years in a profession that you’ve become something. That you have something to offer. Yet when you look around at these massive layoffs it'll really make you wonder.

So yeah, that job offer was more than nice and there was no way I was going to turn it down. Helped my poor mother kick the
Zoloft when she heard the news.

Of course like all businessmen, my boss had an ulterior motive when he hired me so fast. The first day I went to the office I found about 40 files stacked on his desk for my review with a rubber band wrapped ‘round the top dozen and a yellow sticky-note:

Review these top one’s first--they’re late on diary.

Uh, okay. So that fast it was back to work. Harder than I’ve worked in a long while. Twelve hour days and RUSH assignments, with lots of fires to put out and anxious clients to placate. And on top of it all I re-herniated a disc in my back this summer when I took my niece on the God damn
Cyclone.

So my assumed intermission from work turned into a long intermission from writing and from my blog. Nothing but photos to post as I tried to steal ten or fifteen creative minutes; only to find it too painful to sit in front of the computer. At one point I decided to quit the blog all together. Some might call me a sell-out for that, but like William Carlos Williams I’ve always been an investigator who writes and a writer who’s an investigator. The two work symbiotically, so more cases mean more stories. Eventually I’ll find time to write them.

As for now I walk thru my days with them pent-up in my mind like the tension held by my muscles from the inflamed nerves in my back. Eventually I’ll have time to let ‘em go, and when those stories pop-off it’ll be like that guy from the porn movies who always blows a gallon of jizz. Big time release.

But as things stand I've got to bide my time. Get my back strong again. Can't get sour or I might not stay motivated to work hard; and this job's important to me. So now’s not the time to get lazy. Even if it is intermission.





* NOTE:
I'm quite certain that the syndicated comic MUTTS posted above is subject to all kinds of copyrights.

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