No Part 2 (All Apologies):

HBO's Larry Merchant: "...seemingly born in a tuxedo with a gin and tonic in his hand."

Undefeated Floyd "Money" Mayweather (left) vs. Victor "Vicious" Ortiz (right):

"Ortiz was better off taking one big punch than eating the twenty or so right hands Floyd was going to land."

"Course there was something premature ‘bout the way the fight ended. You felt like there was more...potential."

Larry Merchant (center): "The ring generalship of Marco Antonio Barrera brings to mind the great Hannibal of Carthage in 218 BC when he conceived of crossing the Alps with a herd of elephants and descended on Rome during the 2nd of the Punic Wars..."


So this was supposed to be Part Two of What Goes On In a Mind; but when I re-read Part One I decided it was complete enough to stand alone. At least, complete enough for our high standards here at Long Intermission.

In part two I’d planned to dissect Victor Ortiz’s mental meltdown against Mayweather last weekend (where did his mind go?); but I was too slow to get writing and by now the fight’s been analyzed to death. The best part of the whole night was when Mayweather laid into Larry Merchant at the end. I’d planned to describe Merchant as: the man who never aged a day--but was born 67 years old! Guess that line’s destined for the dustbin of history.

Society’s loss.

Larry Merchant, talk about your classic drunk. Guy’s face should be in the dictionary next to rummy. Seemingly born in a tuxedo with a gin and tonic in his hand. Why is he there? Another of professional boxing’s great mysteries to add to the list: Why aren’t judges ever interviewed after decisions? What’s the purpose of a Cruiserweight? What strange hold does Larry Merchant have on HBO boxing? Maybe his rambling oratories entertain the execs:

"The ring generalship of Marco Antonio Barrera brings to mind the great Hannibal of Carthage in 218 BC when he conceived of crossing the Alps with a herd of elephants and descended on Rome during the 2nd Punic Wars..." *

Come on man. And now HBO seems to be cultivating a successor to Merchant in the form of Max Kellerman. Guy must have an uncle at HBO or something. Otherwise, there’s no explanation.

Anyway--classless as Mayweather was last Saturday, I didn’t feel too bad for Larry Merchant when Mayweather called him out. Nor did I feel too bad for Ortiz when he got knocked out. Guy was better-off taking one big punch than eating the 20 right-hands Floyd was gonna land.

Course there was something premature ‘bout the way the fight ended. That’s what left everybody upset and unsatisfied. You felt the fight still had potential for greatness. The way I felt 'bout this post when I first started it. Oh well.

Whatever.

Nevermind.





* NOTE: The quotation I attribute to Larry Merchant (above) is not an exact quote. It is simply an approximation of the kinds of comments this writer has heard him make in the past. Also, I've never met Larry Merchant. I just assume he's a drunk since he spends so much time at prizefights and digresses on so many rambling tangents.

** ADDITIONAL NOTE: All images stolen off Google Images.