dennis rodman: On Revolutions, Valentines, and Banging On The Boss's Head:

I don’t have a girlfriend; nor do I plan to if I can help it. Why that is may prove fruitful subject matter for a later post; but for now, as Kanye West put it, I don’t need your pussy bitch I’m on my own dick.

Spoken like a true blogger and artist.

Unlike Kanye, I’m happy to say my mom’s still alive and well. She’s down in Buenos Aires for the next few weeks, but perhaps because she knows I’m single and alone she decided to send me a Valentines day card. A bit odd that she listed my dad on there, but overall I'd say it's a card worthy of a superstar.

Last summer I quit my job and God damn did my mom let me know what a dumbass she thought I was for that! Who did I think I was? she asked as she attempted to shame me into groveling back to my old bosses for forgiveness.

Ha! That’ll be the day. My mom learned a lot about me that conversation. I told her what I’ll repeat right now, and what she should’ve known:

I’m great. And just for the record reader, I think you are too (why else would you be at my blog?). It irritates the shit out of me to see people sell-out or settle for less than their worth.

Yet people do it all the time. Perhaps its just a lack of confidence or sense of worth; but usually its wives and houses and car payments and kids that’s got their balls in a vice. And student loans. Life’s endless array of options exchanged for a steady check and its relief from the pursuit of greatness. And from pursuing.

I hope that brings these people peace.

And then there’s me. I have nothing. No wife. No house. No loans. No kids. Except for my job I’m free. And I’m about five minutes away from quitting.

‘Cause people, I don’t sell out. I’ve been at my present job for 6 months now. I’ve made my boss a shitload of money and cleaned-up dozens of stale files. All seamlessly as I regained some goodwill from our clients. Just stepped-in and began turning over cases, and with the exception of some long hours it wasn’t hard since I’ve been an investigator a lot of years now. This is what I do.

Course before I was hired my boss made me a bunch of promises, and I’d say he’s come thru on maybe 30-40% of ‘em. He pays my salary (late) and put me on his cheap health insurance plan (belatedly). Other than that, I’ve had to scratch and claw for whatever I can get, promises made or not. And that’s not gonna work. I don’t have any mouths to feed. I have nothing to tie me down, and I’m a Scorpio (as women like to remind me). I’ll quit a job in a heartbeat--without a back-up plan, just to watch the guy’s jaw drop. Especially if I think he’s an asshole. Or a liar.

And now its time for me to get paid. I mean if Sarah Palin got $8 million dollars for her book deal then I should get at least $250 trillion dollars and the 99 cents. Easily.

And I’m not even asking my boss for that.

But you know what? I’m not gonna quit. That’s the same impulsive, reflex-response that’s always worked against me. Can’t allow emotion to overwhelm my logic. Maybe that was the whole purpose of my old blog Stays Put. To help me flesh-out that psychological lesson. Now it's Long Intermission, and it's time to apply what I've learned.

So I’m not gonna quit. I’m just not gonna work hard. When its 5:00 and :01 second I’m done for the day and in the morning I’m gonna sip my 2nd cup of coffee, read my Yahoo boxing page and scan my fellow bloggers before I check my email.

‘Cause I know my personality. Confrontation with my boss is just gonna lead to aggression and the whole situation will blow-up. Sure I’ll have taken him down, but I’ll have been a suicide bomber, taking myself with him. Like I always do.

So avoidance is my best strategy. It’ll make a louder statement, precisely because my boss knows my feelings. And when the money and billing stop rolling-in, how’s my boss not gonna notice that?

So my motto for this weekend is gonna be Just Don’t Work! Which doesn’t sound too hard.